Many people hear my story and think it’s great but somehow not feasible for themselves. The thing I hear over and over again is “But how can I move abroad with kids?” So I’d like for you to hear it from someone who’s done it. John David Lewis is a high school principal. He is married with two kids and like many, toyed with the idea of moving abroad for years. He had doubts of course, but this isn’t about his doubts. This is about how he overcame his fears and led his family on the ultimate journey of moving abroad.
The Hardest Part is Getting Out
In 2002, I was a year out of undergrad living in Orlando with no job, and was considering teaching abroad in South Korea where I was born. I needed something to do and why not see the world? I got an interview and all I needed was to take the Praxis (Alternative Teaching Certification) Exam, but this was a no-go because I was a new grad, with no job, and a lot of pride and ego. You see how that all makes sense? I was encouraged to teach because the youth needed more positive men in the school building. Summer vacations and insurance sounded like my best move. I started out as a teaching assistant and fell head over heels in it. I never realized how much the youth were moving without any positive influence or guidance.
I got my first opportunity (October 2002) to teach at an alternative school about a month after I started as an assistant. I qualified for a temporary (five years) certification due to my undergraduate degree. In Fall 2003, I entered a two-year program that allowed me to get a Masters in Education Leadership while completing my teacher’s certification. I never anticipated leaving the classroom, but I decided to further my education so if an opportunity came, I’d be ready.
Fast forward five years (2010) to a new home in Atlanta, a marriage, and two kids. On my Facebook timeline, I saw someone I worked with teaching in China. We started chatting and I remember saying that I wished I’d done that, but was convinced there was no way I could do it now because I had a family, a mortgage, and [insert additional excuses here]…
In November of 2014, my wife and I considered moving to another city for a change of scenery. After much deliberation, it came down to Dallas. After more research, we realized the money was great, but we would be too far to see family regularly, so that was nixed. It’s funny how we ended up on the other side of the world though, which started with a conversation with my 5 year old. A couple of months later, I asked him where he’d like to move and he said, without hesitating, China. When I asked why, he said, “We don’t know what they do on that side of the world.” I had not thought about moving abroad for years and thought it was too difficult to make it happen with a family. Regardless, I decided to do some research and noticed the benefits of living abroad as an administrator in education. Money (no taxes for gross incomes of 101k or less), less workload, opportunities to travel to other countries for cheap, exposing my family to the world and not living in a box – I’m in.
Family vacations to Sri Lanka. What’s not to love about moving abroad as a family?
We discussed it and agreed that I should apply and we’d weigh our options if I got the opportunity. I went online and typed in “assistant principals abroad” leading to sites like Teach Away and Footprints with a number of positions. After review, we decided I’d apply to Argentina, China, and the United Arab Emirates. Phone interviews and emails with China and Argentina didn’t pan out and I got discouraged. But apparently, third time is a charm because I had interest from the UAE! They wanted me to fly to New York for a Skype interview. At this point, I’m thinking am I really about to pay $1000 dollar flight plus hotel and lose a day of pay at work just to get the same result? Well, I got a flight, pumped myself up, answered the questions to the best of my ability and planned to hear something in a week or two.
Two weeks after my interview, I received an email that said I was selected. I didn’t think about how my wife didn’t say anything or move, because I was so ecstatic. I was going to give my family an opportunity that most of us are too scared to pursue because of the what-ifs. I get it, but I figured if this didn’t work we could always come back. Weeks go by with friends saying congratulations when one friend of mine asked, “How does your wife feel?” He then asked, “What did she say?” Then, I thought about that moment I mentioned earlier. She didn’t say anything or move. I thought since we talked about it and I got the job, it was in stone. He encouraged me to talk to her because it would suck to get over there, she hate it and we have to come all the way back because she and I were not on the same page. It made sense. The conversation was better than I imagined. She just needed more time to process this change. Getting over the fear, pursuing the opportunity, and getting everyone on board was the hardest part and now the clock was on.
I was no stranger to moving and my wife, Kanika, loves throwing things away, so it was easy to downsize. We kept our cars and allowed our brother to move into our home, leaving ourselves a bit of a safety net to return. Excited and cautious, we got a mix of those emotions from our family and friends. Mostly, people thought it was an awesome experience and the kids would learn so much. Older or more traditional people were more apprehensive. We’re too far away. What if something happened? My father-in-law said his generation got a job, started a family, and continued until retirement. This generation just moves around the world and it felt unstable. It’s the unknown that sparks that fear and the falsehoods we learn that feed that fear. I have always been curious and only satisfied when I experience things myself, so other people’s opinions and experiences didn’t dissuade me.
I will say one argument I got from a lot of people was that I was abandoning the youth. I gave over a decade of my career to the youth of my country, my community, and my culture. I spent hours at work during the day and at night. I am proud of what I have done, but I have two children of my own that I want to have a greater impact on. Truthfully, I had three children that I wanted to have a greater impact on. My nephew, who is the same age as my daughter, needed a change of scenery, a smaller class environment, more exposure, and closer supervision, so we made the decision to take him too. So along with our preparations for the move, he needed a passport, we needed to become legal guardians, and notarize documentation from his mother to travel with him internationally. Our to-do list grew a little longer.
Family vacation to Egypt.
“I have always been curious and am only satisfied when I experience things myself, so other people’s opinions and experiences didn’t dissuade me.”
Learning and Unlearning Some Things
I arrived in Abu Dhabi in September 2015. My family stayed behind so that I could get familiar with the place. This country was nothing that I had imagined. Of course, there was sand and it was hot, but it was a regular big city just like in the States, except cleaner. The propaganda that we are taught from television was nothing like this. The American concept of the Middle East is limited to Desert Storm and the Taliban. Did you know Arabs are people who speak the language and from a country that speaks the language? Being Arab does not automatically make you Muslim. I have met several Arabs that are Christians. I had a lot to learn and unlearn.
Work started the following day with orientation and then they put us right into the schools. I had no idea what to expect. I found that my responsibilities were very focused on one task: improving academic performance. On top of that, they believe family comes first so when you clock out, that is family time. In the U.S., I wore several hats, but my workload decreased significantly because I could focus solely on academic performance and effective classroom strategies. It was refreshing.
My colleagues were very friendly and welcomed me as if I were one of them. That put me on the fast track to learning the culture firsthand. They like to hold hands and defy all American Man Laws. Initially, I was so uncomfortable. It was like my friends were right there in the same room watching and laughing because masculinity in America leaves no room for hugging and holding hands. I wanted to be open-minded, so I found myself holding hands with men during conversations. After time passed, I realized that for me to adapt, I would have to accept some things that were out of the norm for me. Nobody here worries about that and why should I? I do not have to do it often, but I don’t think much of it when it happens.
I also had to learn about eating food here. They use their hands and rarely use utensils. This happens at people’s homes, gatherings at school and barbecues. This was tough to handle because Americans obsess about germs. Here, they will tear pieces of bread and hand it to you, give you dates out of their pockets and expect you to eat and be merry. Some people have yet to accept that, but I have come around to accepting this part of the culture too. I learned quickly that the people were really nice and made my transition even smoother. After about a week, I met up with some expats from all over the U.S. and began to build relationships to get acclimated to this new life. After I went out, I recognized that the expat population makes it feel like you are not that far from home at all.
John, his wife Kanika and their two kids in Zanzibar.
Can We Really Do This?
November had finally arrived and after six weeks, I was finally being reunited with my family. I was so excited about taking them around to see and experience things that I’d seen or done. Our first stop was home. Our flat is about 2,500 square feet, with floor to ceiling windows throughout, three huge bedrooms and a maid’s quarter in a high rise on the beach. Everyone was so excited about getting new things with the kids planning out their bedrooms and my wife planning out every other square inch. So far, I had no furniture other than a few couches and an air mattress, so the dollar signs in Kanika’s eyes put fear in my heart. Moving on, our last stop for the day was the beach. I just watched them laugh and play as I just thanked the man above for the courage to take this opportunity.
The following week, I went to work and came home around 4pm two days in a row. My son asked me what I was doing home. When I told him this is the time I got off now, he just hugged me and said, “We get to be together as a family all the time!” (Yes, my kids talk like that.) What’s crazy is that in the US I worked so much trying to make a few extra dollars to provide, that I never realized how much I wasn’t home. My work schedule and my wife’s work schedule meant that our kids were missing out on quality time. We decided since we were moving for my job and she didn’t have the time to secure one, she’d homeschool the kids for at least a year to sharpen their skills before entering the school setting. We noticed there were skills all three children were lacking in and hoped the small environment and ability to focus on their needs would be the best decision. After two years, my wife is itching to start working again and since my job does not provide tuition, we are carefully looking through schools to get the right balance between quality and tuition.
The question was can we really do this and the biggest decision after moving here was whether to stay. We compared the job market and pay, feasibility of travel, in and out of school experiences for the kids, and safety. We had decided only after a few months that we did not want to come back to America to live any time soon. It is peaceful and safe here, we travel often on breaks without saving up for it, and we have the money and time to put the kids in various activities, which wasn’t an option before. Marriage-wise, my wife and I have more conversations about us than bills and schedules, and we’ve rediscovered the joys of dating. When we made our trip home after our first year, my welcome home gift was a car break-in with a shattered window. This, along with the news reporting a new Black man being killed every day, put my wife on edge. We love our family and friends. Being away from them is the only con we could come up with, but we were certain we were making the right decision to leave. Last summer, we sold our house and cars and put the last of our things in storage. Our nephew stayed with his mother and the LewiSquad became a four-person team boarding a plane home. We traded the “American Dream” for our own and I wouldn’t trade this journey for any other.
Taste of Abu Dhabi.
“We had decided only after a few months that we did not want to come back to America to live any time soon. It is peaceful and safe here, we travel often on breaks without saving up for it, and we have the money and time to put the kids in various activities, which wasn’t an option before. Marriage-wise, my wife and I have more conversations about us than bills and schedules, and we’ve rediscovered the joys of dating.”
Now he got me excited!!! I am single so it should be even easier for me….I am still a little scared of the middle east though..
It’s natural to be scared of the middle East because of the propaganda we see on television. Think about it, if we thought or knew it was better somewhere else would we truly stay?
I absolutely love this story! I don’t have kids, yet, but am working on it. I recently decided that I would try out living abroad for the winter months to see if it was something I could get used to. Owning a home was one of my major questions and I like that you had family stay there until you made up your mind on here to live permanently. Maybe this is an option I can strive for instead of having to figure out rental logistics. Thanks for sharing your story (it IS possible for a black fam to move to the middle east and be okay!).
Thank you so much. It’s great here and all the families I know love it also
Thank you this was wonderful to read. I moved to Europe in my late 20s and now a single mother just hitting 40 I dream about living abroad again. My main concern being a Mom of a Autistic child (high functioning as he is) how do I ensure that he gets the support he needs while we are abroad.
That’s tough, that will involve research. Anything I can do let me know
I’m a special educator here in Singapore. I’m probably one of at least 20 special education teachers at my school alone. Support levels will vary from school to school, but some have excellent learning support, speech and language and even social thinking offerings.
Hello Leah, I too have a high functioning son who is Autisic. Did you find any information regarding support for your child?
Is in too old a good excuse? I’m 60 and in great shape but have often thought about it. I’m fully certified and an administrator in the school system.
I’m not sure about the Middle East, but the retirement age here in Singapore (for visa purposes) is 67.
Here it’s tough because of the age limit but I would try if you want it.
This article was inspiring and exciting but I’m a single mother with two young daughters so I doubt my situation will be exactly the same especially without having that second support system. Do you have any advice for single mothers looking to take this same leap of faith?
I know more single mothers living abroad than nuclear families. Ask whatever you like and I will help in any way
So what would be your opinion on how I would take my first step to take this leap? I’m not certified to become a teacher but I have my. Bachelors degree.
I’m currently TTC, so if you find out any information for single moms – please pass it along! As my first foray into living abroad (other than vacay and a couple of mission trips) will occur post becoming a mom.
Single moms are every where here. More money makes everything financially easier. Not to mention being home more
Great read. Nothing but faith. Fear of the unknown will keep you shackled to misery. I have never thought of living abroad. My child graduates high school in 3 years… anything is possible after that! Congratulations to the family.
Thanks young lady
I adore you and your family and commend you for your courage to step out the box. What an amazing journey! Go team Lewis!
Woman it’s #LewiSquad but thanks team dudley
That’s an awesome testimony bro! You guys are truly an inspiration to a lot of us over here! My wife and I will have to come crash for a couple days next year. Lol. Keep up the amazing work fam.
Thanks young man much love
Wow!! Reading this blog post has me thinking now.
Let me know if it’s anything I can do.
Hello Mr. Lewis I’m Dae teacher from Trinity Ms. Reese. Reading this made my mind brainstorm on my future plans. Always feeling that since I have a daughter that is attending school have placed a lot of my dreams on pause. But this was motivation that has helped me acknowledge there is never a endpoint with your dreams and creating a better life for your family. Thanks for sharing your story!
Awesome contact me for any info
This is a great and inspiring story. My husband and I are thinking of making the plunge to live overseas. Do you have any colleagues who have done this with older children? We have a baby, 2yr old, and 10yr old and we are concerned about his adjustment more than our little ones!
I have so many coworkers that have kids of all ages. They get to experience so many memorable things or trips and interact with people from all over the world that I think it’s even better for the older kids. And people with younger kids love it because household help and childcare is very affordable.
My kids started at 6 and 8 and now 8 and 10. Contact me
Thanks Maya and John for your responses. I’m a social worker by trade and have school background so thinking school counselor etc might be a good fit. Have you seen this as a need at any schools abroad? Thanks in advance for your time.
Great article because I gave up that opportunity in the UAE as a single mother at the time. I live in Orlando and have been teaching for 17 years-at the time 10. I can relate to thinking it out such as yours and it makes me wish I would have taken that leap of faith. I was overthinking it back in 2010, so husband and 3 kids later has me looking into it again. Thanks for sharing!
It’s never to late if it makes sense. Do the due diligence.
I am proud of you brother. I have considered moving abroad myself and seeing your experience makes it easier.
It’s the absolute best experience ever. If it’s any questions you have feel free to ask away.
I swear this story is so refreshing every time I think about it. I love that y’all just decided to give life a chance!
You? We give thanks everyday. Waiting for you to give it a chance.
This is amazing Frat!!!!!! Blessing to you and your family.
Thanks team! Same to you
Awesome story and a wonderful life journey. Many blessings to you and your family.
Thank you for reading and I am glad you enjoyed. Same to you
This is truly an amazing and inspiring story! I’m extremely proud of you for taking that leap and stepping out on faith. You have always been a trend setter and a go-getter. But this was a major move literally and has the wheels turning in everyone’s head that reads this article. I love the part when you say you had to learn and unlearn a lot of things. Keep up the awesome work and please keep posting these great stories because they are very motivational and inspiring. Congrats! #spartandawgzfalife
Thanks for reading brother, can’t wait to get you out here.
Great article. As I read, I became more excited about new adventures. I’m so ready! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for reading and can’t wait!
Brother I’m so happy and excited for you. I have several friends that went to teach overseas and its been nothing but good news. God bless you and your family. And of course the Ques are international so I know you still being OWT! RQQ!
Come on team, we deep over here. Thanks for reading
Brilliant!
Thanks for reading! Hope all is well
I noticed your wife is a Spartan! Go State! What sites do you recommend for a Master level graduate with no teaching certificate, but would love to get my foot in the door working abroad?
Hi Ashley! John, his wife Kanika and myself are all Spartans! Have you seen this post? http://www.mayatheexplorer.com/get-teaching-certificate-help-teach-abroad/
I try to make finding certificate options as easy as possible.
#GoGreen Maya gave you a lot of information in the link above. Good luck and if you have any other questions please don’t hesitate to ask.
Thanks for reading! Can’t wait
Proud of you Sands. Best wishes to you and your family. F.I.E.T.T.S.
Thanks nine nine and congrats to you and all of your success. Rooo
I love it Que!!! Like I said I’m open to any input to get certified that doesn’t include me taking 3-4 semesters of coursework at this point.
I’m trying to find it but at the end of the day, it all counts. Let’s get it because you will dominate at the end. Look at your job abroad
Great read!! I wish you nothing but happiness and prosperity in all that you do! This serves as encouragement for others to seek out their dreams and tackle one of their fears of possibly moving out of the country! I wish you much love and peace….great job!
Thanks young lady and I am happy you liked.
Great article! I hope you and your family continue to do great things while living overseas.
Thanks for reading young lady and I hope all is well
We are only as educated as “they” allow us to be. If you want yo being truly educated you must seek it yourself. Any move is scary. Dont let your fear stop you from doing something that could potentially begreat. We just have to step out the box. You’d be surprise at the things you will learn.
Great read John!!!
Glad you enjoyed, thanks for reading.
I love this powerful story. What an amazing journey. You only live once so why not live it to the fullest!!!! Good for you John D.
I’m with you regarding being empowered to live abroad. My father was in the military so I’ve been to different countries. Maybe the Caldwells will follow in your footsteps one day in the future.
Thanks for reading young lady. Your family would live this life
This is such an outstanding article. Your story will motivate and encourage others to to expand their mind sets and conquer what was once the unthinkable. Your journey is the perfect platform for your family and other families (regardless of situational dynamics). I am so proud of you! May God continue to bless and guide your family.
Thanks for reading and glad you enjoyed
My husband teaches Physical Education and Health and has his Masters in Teaching with a focus on adaptive physical education. He really wants to teach abroad. Is there a demand for PE and/or Health teachers?
Yes! My finance teaches both PE and Health. I’ve received offers to teach PE as well.
My best suggestion is to either go to those sites I mentioned or type in any title he wants to teach and click abroad on Google.
Hello Mr. Lewis,
It’s customary in U.S. culture to follow up after interviews, but I was so nervous that I forgot to write your name down. I searched vigorously and ADEC could not assist. While looking through my groups I noticed you as one of the friends of a group member. Just wanted to thank you for whatever feedback you provided to ADEC because I got an offer and will be heading over to Abu Dhabi shortly. Great story! A lot of similarities to my situation, wonderful wife, daughter and son, and another black family stepping out of the box. Thanks for sharing and continuing to pay it forward. Peace and Blessings to you and yours, and hopefully we can link up.
Congratulations and forgive me but I don’t remember the name but I am excited for you and your family. If it’s anything I can do let me know to help the transition. Thanks for reaching out
This is what i needed thank you
Glad you enjoyed! You are more than welcome.
I just turned 26 have an 11 month old and am a single mother. I’ve traveled pre-baby and love living abroad but is this something I can realistically do as a single mother with an infant?
Absolutely, Gabrielle! One of the great things about living abroad is that household help is more affordable. You could easily hire someone to help with your baby while you’re at work. And once your child is old enough to attend school most good schools will offer free tuition for your child.
Very easy to do, live in nannies are pretty inexpensive abroad. I would not let that prevent you from the opportunities you will have living abroad.
John! So, I finally read this. First, I have to say you look GREAT. So does your family. You’ve definitely given me some perspective. Keep up the good work. One question: did you use a service or firm to match you up with your school? How did you find them?
-Dayle P.
Dayle I went through a company that no longer exist but the popular ones are teachaway.com and footprintsrecruiting.com. if you are truly interested I have a friend that’s a recruiter. I am not in a private school I’m actually in a local school.
Thanks for the inspiration! My husband and I are both teachers and are thinking about the UAE for next year. We have three children. Please link us to your recruiter, if possible .
Thank you for sharing your inspiring journey! I have colleagues who presently teach in UAE. They have been trying to get me to come over for the longest time now. They taught in PG County before moving abroad, and now they don’t ever want to come back to the States. They tell me that are choosing to stay because the students, families, and culture value education so much more differently than we do in America. They went through footprints. Would you mind connecting me with your recruiter friend? I am highly interested in making that journey abroad in the future. Thank you in advance!
Thanks, John. I’d be interested in getting in touch with your recruiter friend. Thinking long-term right now, not immediate. Take care and I hope the start of this school year goes well for you.
I left a comment about being a single mother and moving with a baby. If anyone has actually done this before can you please share how you did it? It’s hard enough moving by yourself with all the uncertainty of a new country but doing that with a baby adds extra pressure. Finding a career, place to live and someone I trust to watch my child while I work are my top concerns. Again, if anyone has been in this situation before can you please share your experience!
Thanks
Hi Gabrielle. Did you see my reply above? For the past couple of years I’ve helped some of the new teachers at my job to settle in. Within a couple of weeks many of them have a full time live-in helper working for them and assisting with child care. It depends on where in the world you move of course and the quality of the position you accept, but any good school will help you throughout every stage of your move.
Awesome article I am going to do my best to make it happen to teach in Abu Dhabi next year. Time is precious and sounds like family is defiantly quality time in the UAE. Unlike here in the U.S. the pressure of the rat race and trying to rob Peter to pay Paul. I want to be in an environment that is not so intense and aggressive. I will just pray and put in my due diligence that I have to opportunity to enjoy such a peaceful environment.
Roo team
I’m a mom of 5, ages 12, 11, 4, 2 and 10 months. Ive been considering changing states for a while but your story makes me consider abroad. It’s so scary thinking about the unknown and my family is my support system. I’m a special education teacher and would love the experience. Your thoughts?
To be honest that would be tough where we are because international and private schools can be expensive even. I would look into it and try to go abroad where your kids can go where you work. Type in special education teacher abroad. Hope this helpa
I’m a teacher and have considered teaching abroad. Would love to come to UAE. I have a 15 month old. I’m concerned about child care (single mom). What’s the youngest age that children are able to start school? Also, I would be concerned about mine and my child’s safety in another country. How did you overcome that?
Well you can get live in nanny for cheaper than you would may imagine. My wife homeschooled our kids but to ease your mind a little, after coming here we have never felt so safe. The American population is large here. Several with kids have live in Nannys. We are planning to possibly get one in the fall
Hello,
I am a single mom interested in living abroad. I have a Bachelor’s degree and I am working on my Master’s in Healthcare Informatics. Can you advise of any reputable organizations to start applying? Also, what school systems are good to put the children in? I want to make sure they do not suffer when it comes to education.
Thank you!
Hi Li. Are you interested specifically in working in your field, or in teaching? Most reputable job offers overseas should come with free tuition for your child and even assistance in getting them registered. In most countries your kids would be in a private school.
Which program/agency do you go through? Footprints or teach away? Or did you go through someone else? I’m a single mom looking to move in 2019/2020 so I’m trying to prepare as much as possible. My son has a learning disability how does one look for schools that have a good special ed program abroad ?
Hi again T’Ericka! I used Search Associates and highly recommend them. I know some others that have used those other sites and I wouldn’t say the quality of the schools is the same (from what I’ve heard). You should look for a school that caters to an expat population or has a balance of host country students and expats. I would also say to check out International School Review before accepting an offer or you’re welcome to e-mail me once you get an offer with questions. Not all schools are good schools. If you find a job at one of the best schools they will have special education offerings for your son. And if they don’t offer free tuition for your son I would not consider it. Hope that helps! Good luck!
Congratulations, that was a bold step you took-overcame the what ifs? I just sent a friend request on facebook, please accept me.